I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
