i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
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