I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
