Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
