Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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