real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
