He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
