i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Randomize
