One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
