Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
