this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
