brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
