he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
