stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
