I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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