Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Terrible idea I love it
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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