so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I supernannyed him into submission
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
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