I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
