the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
