Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
His nipple licking is glorious
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