he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
