Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
