okay pat passed out under dana's car
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
