people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
