I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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