No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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