Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
