I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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