now i know why i became what i already was.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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