I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
