All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
