office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
