piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Randomize
