do herpes really smell.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
