I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
