idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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