White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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