69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
