piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize