Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
