apparently the secret to your success is patron
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
be right there i have to get my cape
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
