yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
