I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
being pregnant is like rehab
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
