Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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