So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
