I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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