Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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