so that wasnt chicken after all
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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