I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
