Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
