you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
