Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
