You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Life is so much better after having sex.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
you never un-have a 4some
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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