lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
