Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
