do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
