wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
