fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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