you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
