Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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