Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
