bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize