I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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