would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
